Donald Trump Doesn't Like This Any More Than You Do
Donald Trump does not want to be the president.
Donald Trump likes going to rallies. He likes hearing people scream his name in ecstasy while calling for the imprisonment and death of his enemies. He likes going on TV. He likes hearing about how high the ratings were after he goes on TV. He likes grabbing women by the pussy and moving on them “like a bitch.”
What Donald Trump does not like, however, is keeping his promises, sitting still for more than five minutes at a time, or doing any kind of work whatsoever, tedious or otherwise. It’s probably why so many of his business ventures were spectacular, blistering failures over the years.
But unfortunately for Donald Trump and everyone else in the world save Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump is about to be the president. And as miserable at is for us, there is one small, saving grace amidst the despair: Donald Trump looks like he wants to die.
Yesterday, Trump made his way to the White House for his first meeting with Obama as President-elect. As many noted, in the photos of their meeting in the Oval Office, Trump looks absolutely terrified. As well he should be—this is a man who has absolutely no business running anything, much less the United States. And apparently, he knows it.
But it’s more than just being scared of what he got himself into. Donald Trump is positively miserable. He hates this shit! He doesn’t want to walk around getting a tour with Mitch McConnell. Nor does he want to sit at a boring table next to boring Paul Ryan and talk about boring things that aren’t Donald Trump.
Literally the only way Paul Ryan was able to convince Trump to come to the Capitol was to entice him with the closest thing to a rally Trump will get for the foreseeable future.
So to lift your spirits—because God knows we all could use it—here is President-elect Donald Trump being forced to do the job he campaigned so hard for. May he remain this happy for the rest of his godforsaken term.
Paul Ryan Isn’t Just Going After Obamacare, You’ll Want To Be Sitting Down For This
House Speaker Paul Ryan is laying out an aggressive legislative agenda to destroy the social contract and impoverish tens of millions of Americans for corporate profit when the Republicans take over the government in January. His first plan of action is to end health coverage for as many Americans as he can. To that end, he has promised to repeal the Affordable Care Act. Even though the ACA has provided health insurance to over 20 million Americans, has slowed the rise of healthcare costs, and ended insurance denials for preexisting conditions, Ryan and Republicans want to repeal it because it was signed by a popularly elected and reelected black president.
But it gets worse. Ryan also indicated that he wants to privatize Medicare, New York Magazine reported, Friday. This would effectively end Medicare, since it’s a publicly funded program. Handing it over to businesses would be the end of the program, even if “privatizing” sounds like a change or a reform. New York Mag analyzed an interview that Ryan gave to Fox News, and argued that Ryan’s official reasons for why he wanted to privatize Medicare were “the complete opposite of the truth,”
And in a Fox News interview with Bret Baier, Ryan said Medicare privatization is on.“Your solution has always been to put things together, including entitlement reform,” says Baier, using Republican code for privatizing Medicare. Ryan replies, “If you’re going to repeal and replace Obamacare, you have to address those issues as well. … Medicare has got some serious issues because of Obamacare. So those things are part of our plan to replace Obamacare.”Ryan tells Baier, “Because of Obamacare, Medicare is going broke.” This is false. In fact, it’s the complete opposite of the truth. The Medicare trust fund has been extended 11 years as a result of the passage of Obamacare, whose cost reforms have helped bring health care inflation to historic lows. It is also untrue that repealing Obamacare requires changing traditional Medicare. But Ryan clearly believes he needs to make this claim in order to sell his plan, or probably even to convince fellow Republicans to support it.
Ryan, whom Esquire‘s Charles Pierce once nicknamed “the zombie-eyed granny starver from the state of Wisconsin,” has always been in the pocket of big business. Over the course of his career, his three largest donors have been Northwestern Mutual, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and the Koch Industries, according to Open Secrets. The insurance industry and a pair of radical anti-government billionaires in Wisconsin have launched Ryan to the Speakership. Now, nothing stands in their way as they put the American people back on the hook of the completely dysfunctional and predatory system before Obamacare. But that’s not where it will likely end. They seek to end arguably the most effective public program, which insures nearly 54 million Americans, 45 million over 65, and 9 million who are disabled.
Welcome to unified radical corporate government, America. Where the rights of a few billionaires to make more profit are greater than the rights of millions of Americans to live. If you’ve never been to a protest, now would be a good time to see what they’re all about.
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