The political move will cut spending by 40% to $450,000 per year.
“We don’t want the showing of our soldiers being weak, so I’m closing that hotline down at some point. Trust me, I’m doing them a favor,” said President Donald Trump. “In the long run, they will all be thanking me about how it was genius, extremely genius move on my part.”
Trump aids said he worked on this hundred thousand dollar hotline that serviced nearly 2 million veterans per month. “His top priority this week was to cut the veteran suicide thing hotline or whatever,” said an aid. “He was obsessed with it.”
When asked if the President has consulted any experts, the aid said, “Of course not. He might have seen something on TV but definitely did not seek facts or even opinions. That’s not how he rolls. He rolls in one way and one way only, hard.”
A Veteran Bites the Dust
Veteran’s are unhappy with these strange cuts to a seemingly good program.
“I don’t even know what to say,” said a million veterans. “He’s not inherently a good person.”