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News
Andy Borowitz
| White House Vows to Use Every Synonym for War Against ISIS
Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker
Borowitz writes: "President Obama has had two sleepless nights since learning that Rush Limbaugh praised his speech about Iraq and Syria this week, a White House source confirmed on Saturday."
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Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker
Borowitz writes: "President Obama has had two sleepless nights since learning that Rush Limbaugh praised his speech about Iraq and Syria this week, a White House source confirmed on Saturday."
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ISIS Said to
Execute 3rd Hostage
Oliver Holmes and Ned Parker, Reuters
Excerpt: "Islamic State militants fighting in Iraq and Syria released a video on Saturday which purported to show the beheading of British aid worker David Haines."
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Oliver Holmes and Ned Parker, Reuters
Excerpt: "Islamic State militants fighting in Iraq and Syria released a video on Saturday which purported to show the beheading of British aid worker David Haines."
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Contractors
Ready to Cash in on ISIS War
Eli Lake, The Daily Beast
Lake writes: "If the President wants to have any hope of meeting his far-reaching goal of destroying ISIS, he's going to have to rely on private military contractors. At least, that's what the contractors are hoping."
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Eli Lake, The Daily Beast
Lake writes: "If the President wants to have any hope of meeting his far-reaching goal of destroying ISIS, he's going to have to rely on private military contractors. At least, that's what the contractors are hoping."
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Pakistan Says
it Has Arrested Malala's Attackers
Chelsea Sheasley, The Christian Science Monitor
Sheasley writes: "The Pakistan Army announced today that it arrested 10 militants suspected of involvement in the shooting of Malala Yousafzai, the teenager who became a celebrity advocate for education after being shot by a Taliban gunman on her way to school."
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Chelsea Sheasley, The Christian Science Monitor
Sheasley writes: "The Pakistan Army announced today that it arrested 10 militants suspected of involvement in the shooting of Malala Yousafzai, the teenager who became a celebrity advocate for education after being shot by a Taliban gunman on her way to school."
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Can
Corporations Go to Hell? An Existential Quandary for the Supreme
Court
Jay Fox, Salon
Fox writes: "While this may seem rather innocuous at first, the controversy surrounding the decision is derived from the fact that corporations do not possess mouths, and that, consequently, their checkbooks serve as their primary means of communication."
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Jay Fox, Salon
Fox writes: "While this may seem rather innocuous at first, the controversy surrounding the decision is derived from the fact that corporations do not possess mouths, and that, consequently, their checkbooks serve as their primary means of communication."
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Every
President in the Last Quarter-Century Has Announced the Bombing of Iraq on Live
TV
Philip Gourevitch, The New Yorker
Gourevitch writes: "Every American President in the past quarter century has now gone on television during prime time to tell the nation and the world that he has decided to bomb Iraq."
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Philip Gourevitch, The New Yorker
Gourevitch writes: "Every American President in the past quarter century has now gone on television during prime time to tell the nation and the world that he has decided to bomb Iraq."
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Where
Slaughtered Dolphins Go to Be Sold
David Kirby, TakePart.com
Kirby writes: "As the annual dolphin-killing season begins at the cove at Taiji, Japan, the focus will be on the slaughter. Far less attention will be paid, however, to the fate of dolphins captured and sold to marine-mammal entertainment parks worldwide."
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David Kirby, TakePart.com
Kirby writes: "As the annual dolphin-killing season begins at the cove at Taiji, Japan, the focus will be on the slaughter. Far less attention will be paid, however, to the fate of dolphins captured and sold to marine-mammal entertainment parks worldwide."
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